Oh, Brother!

My favorite childhood TV show was “Phineas and Ferb”. The two main characters are step brothers with an older sister, Candace, who’s always trying to bust them for breaking rules. In one episode, Candace succeeds and gets the two boys shipped off to boarding school. Eventually, Candace realizes she misses and loves them, despite all the trouble they cause. Candace’s best friend Stacy sings a song that captures the essence of the siblings’ relationship. That song inspired me to write this post. Here’s a link to the song. If you have younger siblings, please tell me how it made you feel in the comment section below.

Little brothers. I have one of these. I love him so much I don’t know what I would do if something were to happen to him. I am not going to say his name. But if you know me, you know him. It makes me so sad when he gets hurt badly or cries. Now I will admit, I have been the cause of some of these injuries (almost all of them accidents). But any time I hurt him, I always feel awful about it right afterwards.

My brother can be a pain sometimes: he fusses about eating (lately he has been eating better but still fusses a lot). I’m not trying to tattle on my brother or anything like that. I just want to be the best big sister I can be. My parents and I have some hard times with all his tantrums and hitting. “Apparently that’s what siblings do,” says my mom. That’s true. But my little brother is a little extreme. I think it’s because he is the younger sibling. When I was his age I did not do what he does. Now, I definitely had some tantrums over stupid stuff. But every child does that when they are young. I think he just wants everything he sees me get. He gets angry when he doesn’t get what he wants, or if I get something he doesn’t. I can see how that would make someone angry or upset. But my brother goes a tad bit over the top.

My brother and I fight. We usually fight about stupid stuff like who gets to choose the movie, or whether he is supposed to do his school work or not. In arguments where he says that he doesn’t have to work anymore, or he doesn’t have to eat all of his dinner, it makes me really angry. Then the mom side of me comes out. I tell him, “Yes you do have to do your work or you won’t get a treat at the end of the week,” or “yes you do have to eat all of your food; if you don’t, you don’t get your dulce [a little treat from the local tiendas].” I need to work on letting my parents do the parenting, because as much as I want to be a mom someday, it’s definitely not today.

Now it probably sounds like I am only telling you the things that are bad about my brother. But I’m not. I love him more than anyone (besides my parents of course). He is super duper fun to be around and play with when he is in a good mood. We make up awesome games and do really fun things at the park. He is amazing and nice when he has eaten good food and had a good night’s sleep.

I love my brother so much. So I want to share with you what I’ve learned from my 9 years of being a big sister. I’m not always good at following these rules. But I try, I really do.

1. Always stay calm. Even if your little brother is having a gigantic tantrum about something stupid and he is hitting you and crying, always keep your cool.
2. Don’t hit back. Even if your brother is hitting you and pinching you, don’t do it back. It just makes everything worse.
3. Use words. When he is screaming or hitting you or doing anything that is wrong or that you don’t like, ask him to stop. If he doesn’t stop, use a sterner voice. If he still doesn’t stop, tell your parents or guardian.
4. Let him believe what he wants to believe. If he believes that you did something wrong, don’t try to make him believe otherwise; just leave the room. If he tells your parents and they come ask you about it, stay calm and tell them the truth.
5. Discretion. I’m still working on this one a bit. If you want something that you know your little brother can’t have, keep it to yourself until he is out of range.
6. Love is always the answer. If your brother has done something to hurt you (physically or mentaly) always let him say sorry and forgive him. Just be ready for when he does the same thing again though; little brothers don’t learn very fast.
7.  Always be the bigger person. Even if he is being a baby or crying or whatever your little brother does, stay calm and be yourself.

I hope these guidelines can help you if you have problems with your little siblings. And I hope that your relationships turn out good in the end. I hope Dallas and I grow old together, and laugh together, and spend our lives together… but definitely in different houses.

If you want to watch the episode I was talking about earlier, I’ve added a link to it here. It’s Season 1, Episode 45.

P.S. [in Siri voice] SPOILER ALERT! If you don’t like spoilers, don’t read the following message: in the end, Candace wakes up from this whole big dream and at breakfast they all discuss it. [also in Siri voice] End of spoiler alert. Thank you for reading.